Schizophrenic

That's how I'm feeling these days. I go from feeling hopeful and confident to hollow and sad in a matter of minutes. It's a very odd time for me right now. I just turned 30 years old, I'm in the process of buying an apartment, I'm changing careers and I've been dumped. All of which makes me feel a bit roller coaster-y.

For example, I spent the holiday weekend at the Hamptons with three other fabulous black women. It was wonderful for several reasons:

• I was surrounded by encouragement, support and love.
• We ate and drank a lot...and well!
• I felt smug because my ex-boyfriend always wanted to go the Hamptons and he's never been.

I got out of the car at the end of the weekend feeling refreshed, empowered, and strong. I came home and had to talk to Ex (I think that's what I'll call him). I immediately curled up on the couch and cried.

I'm tired. I want to be done. I want to fully embrace all that my Buddhist upbringing taught me and let go so I can move on. However, according to my licensed professional, one of my strengths is that I fully experience my emotions, so I'm not one to pretend I'm okay when I'm not.

Damn it!