It's My Party!

Grrr....

I'm pissed! I was invited to this party in my building for this weekend and I was so excited. The theme is "sexy." Kind of juvenile, but I was looking forward to rocking my backless, low-cut, no-way-I-can-wear-a-bra shirt again. It's being thrown by a friend that Ex and I met while we were still together, so technically she's both of our friends.

When I got the Evite, I scanned it for his name. I didn't see it. Wheuheu! That means he won't be there, right? Well, I just found out yesterday that she invited him over the phone. Damn!

So now I'm not going to feel as sexy because who feels sexy when they're faced with their heartbreak?

Ex will probably not talk to me because "he won't want to upset me," which is bullshit for "too weak to deal with me."

I will watch Ex flirt with a bunch of other women. And he will. He does it without even being aware. He did it while we were dating, but I never paid attention because it never got disrespectful of me and I was stupid enough to be secure in our relationship.

And I'll feel too depressed to flirt myself.

I could just not go...

But I want to go to this party.

Of course, I could summon up the spirit of my "take no shit, take no prisoners" friend who does her own thing no matter who's in the room.

I like that idea, but I'll take it one day at a time. That's my life philosophy right now.