Shaken Up

One of my best friends wrote me a "wake up!" email. It would have been considered really harsh if I didn't know her and didn't know that she loves me dearly. Shit, it's still harsh. But I'm still really happy she sent it.

She didn't post it as a comment because she thought it was too mean, but I want her email to be part of this blog. When I am finally done with Ex, I will print out all my entries and put them someplace safe...or burn them. I want her message to be part of this process.

So...without further ado...

"i was gonna post to your blog, but that didn't seem fair. and remember--i love you infinitely.

this is me, shaking you. hard.

stop it. now. pack your shit and get out. don't talk about how you feel, or why you're doing what you're doing anymore, or who you need to prove what to, whether it's yourself or him or anyone else.

pack your shit, pack your life, and get the fuck out. now. enough.

when name deleted to protect her asshole Ex and i split up, he sent me all kinds of
horrible emails and said awful things to me. you finally said, "how long are you going to do this to yourself, and how long is this going to go on?"

you slept with him and cried the whole time. great. feel better? no? then stop.

you're the only one who can take decisive action that will make you feel better. so--how long are you gonna let this part of the process occupy your every thought, every day? it's sucking you dry. everytime you see him you undo any progress you may have made.
so move out and sever the ties, unless you like i how you feel right now.

and if you like how you feel, and you choose to continue it--think why."

Well...I'm not going to move out until I close on my apartment, which should happen this month. But I'm going to start packing this weekend. And I will not forget what my friend wrote to me.

Ironically, the fact that I have this blog allows me to not think about Ex all the time. I write a feeling or an incident down here and it's easier for me to move on from it.