Back from the Abyss

As you can tell by the six posts I wrote yesterday, Sunday was not a good day. Ex essentially moved out, I threw up, it was a mess.

And late last night as I lay in the biggest, emptiest bed of my life, I acknowledged that I went/am going a little crazy over all this. I shared this blog with my best friend for the first time last night and she said that she wasn't surprised by any of it...not really.

She's a smart cookie. And so am I.

So I'm wondering...have I been so blinded by my emotions that I couldn't see what was obvious? That despite our plans, despite the support, despite all the fun, Ex ultimately made me feel bad about myself? Is that obvious? I don't know yet.

I need to step back and get control of things. Not deny my feelings per say, but they can't have a free reign anymore. They are like teenagers, reacting so strongly to every piece of stimuli. They have no filtering system. Everything is the most important thing.

My feelings regarding Ex are on a time out.