Ex Has Left the Building

Ex left the apartment tonight for his new job and new city. He left the apartment livid at me. Our last two hours together was spent in another "difficult conversation" (that term is now a dirty word with us). See Update on Her to see what we discussed.

It was all my doing. I have been in so much pain today, I wanted to lash out. But as soon as our voices got raised, I regretted it all. And at that point it was too late for him to hear "I'm sorry." And it was too late to for me to maintain any sense of being right. And it was too late for me to care.

I came to an epiphany today...I need to spend a great deal of time alone. At this point, I have never been more confused as to the purpose of relationships. What can I look for from my partner? What should I have within myself?

I can't see anything clearly anymore.