I'm Boring Myself

I'm starting to bore myself with this blog. I'm actually getting tired of talking about Ex.

Not only that, but there isn't that much to say. I no longer have to see him and that is empowering, surprisingly so. I thought that when I lived alone I would feel so blue. But it's the complete opposite. I can't wait to come home every night. And when I do see Ex, all he does is tell me how good I look, which is tired because all he wants to do is fuck me and he only wants to do that because he no longer can. My heart strings don't get pulled when he's around.

I'm sure there are still some things that I have to work through with Ex, and I totally reserve the right to go crazy again, but I kinda feel like I want to talk about something else. Which makes me less inclined to talk about that something else on this blog.

I am not witty enough to talk about pop culture and current events in any original way.

I don't really want to talk about the details of my job because it's related to the theatre and that world is just way too small. I know someone who got fired for doing that.

I could turn this blog into a discussion about the purchase of my first apartment, but I don't have any life lessons or secrets of success. I'll leave that to the Rich Dad, Poor Dad guy. I think paint samples and flooring are fascinating, but I doubt any of you who read this agree.

I'm starting to date again very slowly. I'm having a blast! It's a bit anxiety-ridden, but I'm enjoying hanging out with a guy that isn't co-dependent. Again, not something I want to talk about here.

Hmmm...I think this blog has run its course. Thanks to everyone who posted comments, especially that woman from Mexico who was so encouraging.

Feel free to go through the archives to see the Hell that was the last two and a half months of my life. I like to do that every once in a while to see how far I've come...and boy, have I come a long way.

Bye!

The Ex Update

I had no idea it had been so long since I posted. This last week was chock full o' stuff, and the energy and urge to post got directed to other things.

The most important event of the week...no, not Bush winning again. I don't even want to dwell on that sad reality....was that I moved into my new apartment. It happened on Saturday. I had to beg and borrow, but I got out of Ex's house. I actually finished packing on Friday afternoon and was really blue. It didn't help that John Mayer's "Split Screen Sadness" was playing as I did my last walk-through. I could actually believe that I was leaving the place where I thought I was going to spend my life, at least metaphorically.

The next morning Ex helped me move my stuff downstairs to save money and watched me drive away. I started to tear up, but stopped as soon as he said, "There's no need to cry. I'm going to see you later." No need to cry? It just reminded me once again how emotionally crippled he is.

He did actually see me later. Ex took the hour-plus subway ride down to my new neighborhood and became my first visitor. He bought me flowers and a smoke alarm. He said he was jealous of my apartment. He called me the next day and told me that he missed me. I still don't know what to do with that.

How do you feel, Britt? Honestly, I feel really good. I love my apartment, love my neighborhood, and love my apartment some more. I don't feel lonely at all. I have been too busy to miss him and relish the fact that this whole apartment is all for me.

Perhaps when all of my projects are done, it will hit me harder.

There are a lot more weekend adventures, but I'll put them in different posts.

Priorities

Though I'm dealing with a bunch of crap with Ex and moving and a wonderfully crazy new job, I'm not too self-centered to forget that tomorrow is one of the most important days in the recent history of this country.

Everyone who's reading this who lives in the United States, please go out and vote. There is really no excuse not to. It's a decision that is way too important to let personal problems stop you.