Feeling Ehhh

You have to say the "ehhh" very nasally, pushing the sound to the top of your mouth. That's how I'm feeling right now.

It could have a lot to do with the fact that Ex spent the weekend not at his other place, but with me in the apartment we used to share. Unfortunately he didn't have a choice, and I really don't have a right to tell him not to stay there. Looking back, I should have crashed at my friend's house who was out of town.

We did not spend very much time together...I tried to be out of the house as much as possible. That allowed me to stay in good spirits for most of the weekend. I am thrilled by the fact that I did NOT have sex with him, even though he tried. But by Monday my spirit had had enough. I started to get really blue. I would start to cry in the subway. Luckily he left this morning.

Now I'm in this strange place where I'm not comfortable in my skin. I miss him again. I am hurt that he has another girlfriend again. I am angry again. I am so glad he's gone I could scream. I want him back so much I could scream.

If he has to stay at the apartment again this weekend, I am going out of town.