It's My World
So I finished He's Just Not That Into You yesterday. I'm having a hard time articulating the transformation it's had. It wasn't life altering the way I thought it would be. It said things that my soul already knew. Reading it felt like I was hearing sage advice; it was familiar at the same time it was eye-opening.
However the effect that it's had on my behavior is definitely profound. I almost instantly let go of so much sadness and some of the anger. I no longer have any regrets about the fact that Ex and I aren't together. He did so many things that the book says is the behavior of a guy not into you: stopped wanting to sleep with me, made me feel insecure about my looks and myself, became lazy in the relationship, did nothing to try to address what I needed to be happy. So I'm letting it go. The only thing I will never forget is the way he broke up with me...and I don't think I have to. I think it is very wise to remember how easily it was for him to disregard me.
It's also having positive effects outside of Ex. I make a lot more eye contact with men I find attractive. Because one of the first pieces of advice is don't go after a guy that doesn't ask you out, it leaves me open to be more flirtatious. If he doesn't pursue me, then he just wasn't that into me and I don't want him in my life. This also works well because I'm not in a place to pursue something anyway. Eye contact and smiles are about as much as I can handle right now, so it's perfect!
I know that Ex has Her. Her has replaced me on the speed dial on his phone. But that's okay, because now Her will have to deal with a man who is constantly dissatisfied with her. And I can spend my time just being me.
As my take-no-bullshit friend says, "It's all about me." I feel decadent in the entitlement I'm rolling around in.
However the effect that it's had on my behavior is definitely profound. I almost instantly let go of so much sadness and some of the anger. I no longer have any regrets about the fact that Ex and I aren't together. He did so many things that the book says is the behavior of a guy not into you: stopped wanting to sleep with me, made me feel insecure about my looks and myself, became lazy in the relationship, did nothing to try to address what I needed to be happy. So I'm letting it go. The only thing I will never forget is the way he broke up with me...and I don't think I have to. I think it is very wise to remember how easily it was for him to disregard me.
It's also having positive effects outside of Ex. I make a lot more eye contact with men I find attractive. Because one of the first pieces of advice is don't go after a guy that doesn't ask you out, it leaves me open to be more flirtatious. If he doesn't pursue me, then he just wasn't that into me and I don't want him in my life. This also works well because I'm not in a place to pursue something anyway. Eye contact and smiles are about as much as I can handle right now, so it's perfect!
I know that Ex has Her. Her has replaced me on the speed dial on his phone. But that's okay, because now Her will have to deal with a man who is constantly dissatisfied with her. And I can spend my time just being me.
As my take-no-bullshit friend says, "It's all about me." I feel decadent in the entitlement I'm rolling around in.
posted by L. Britt @ 1:39 AM
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